Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
