508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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