The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
