it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
