Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
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Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
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I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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