I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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