we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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