i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
