Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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