I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
