i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
