I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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