then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just invented taco cereal.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
