well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
