he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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