What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
