Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
