He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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