We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
