i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
