The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
