plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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