you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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