Who wears a wallet chain?!
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
