We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
