Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
