Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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