that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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