I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
