On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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