Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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