I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize