$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
