I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize
