...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
