my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
