just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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