Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
