I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize