oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he fucked my hip out of place.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
