Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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