Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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