In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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