my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
