Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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