Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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