I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
