so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
