I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize