oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
