So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
