Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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