I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
