i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
