I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
farters have to be the big spoon...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
