I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
