Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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