I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
