Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
