I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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