I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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