I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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