I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
